1. A rest-home for the burnt-out and the broken-hearted. This has been a dream of many years for me, unfulfilled mainly because I can’t afford a house, and also because I’m not sure exactly how it would work. I mean, how would people book their places? Or should the mistress of the house just let Providence send the guests her way? I am sure that the house should include a giant library, lots of garden space (and plenty of distance from the neighbours), lots of trees, and no forced jollity.

2. A rest-home for burnt-out priests. See above, but priests only, and only one or two guests at a time. I mean, you don’t want people to feel like they’re in some kind of hospital or halfway house.

3. A fourth Bourne movie, entitled ‘The Bourne Confession.’ Remember the brief flashback near the end of the third movie, which revealed that, before his re-programming, Jason Bourne had been a Catholic? Well, obviously, once he gets his memory back, he has to to go Confession just to deal with his Bourne years. And of course, the confessional is bugged. And the bad guys come after the priest. So it’s really a movie about a priest suddenly being on the run and turning out to be cool (I mean, other than sacramental superpowers cool).

4. A comic strip featuring two characters – Actus and Potentia. Actus is a boy and Potentia is a girl. Too bad if you think that’s offensive (because maybe ‘potency’ doesn’t sound as powerful as ‘act’, even though without potency movement would be impossible); that’s just how it’s meant to be!

5. A Batman story  (the ‘old’ Batman – I mean before the new 52) in which Batman happens upon a religious sister in a dark alley in the middle of the night – and it turns out they’re hunting the same villain. It also turns out, at the end of the story, (during which the Sister gets to give him a serve about his many annoying traits), that she’s been bilocating from a distant monastery the entire time. Ha!

6. More exorcists. A lot more.

7. An umbrella that doesn’t turn inside-out in the wind.

8. A religious order dedicated to the conversion of traffickers (and their customers.) Is an Order too much to ask? I mean, if a religious order was founded to make reparation for sins committed during the French Revolution (I forget the order’s name; it exists; it’s small, though), surely this cause can have an Order, too? See, the problem isn’t going to go away until the buyers and sellers themselves convert – and how much grace is that going to take?

Because the other thing to consider is that someone has to pay the price for every conversion, which means either religious life or martyrdom. And I know I’m not founding an Order, so if no one else does, I’m going to have to pay the price for this conversion after the manner of my patron saint.

9. A blog about headcoverings, called ‘Tichel My Fancy.’

10. An ankle-length skirt that is actually reaches my ankles.