Those unmarried of us who are not obviously involved in teaching catechism or visiting the elderly are sometimes described by our married brothers and sisters in Christ as living ‘the selfish single life.’

Well, I’m not complaining about having a week off work between Christmas and New Year, and I’ll admit that none of that week is to be spent changing nappies. Even so, I made a list of things to do this week, and looking over it makes me realise I am doing the Selfish Single Life all wrong, because this is what it says:

Wash pans
Clean Venetian blinds
Clean recycling bin
Go to Post Office
Deliver laundry
Collect laundry
Drop off dry-cleaning
Collect dry-cleaning
Hand-wash things not going to laundry
Write out Mass offerings
Write blog post (selfish?)
Transfer funds across accounts
Book deep-tissue massage (not a fun thing. I’ve injured my neck)
Book doctor’s appointment to ask them why my neck isn’t better
Go to Bank and ask them why my Opal top-up is being rejected
Look for something fun to do after I’ve been to the bank

Gah! Where’s the hedonism? Where’s the abdication of responsibility? Where’s the enviable-yet-contemptible freedom? Is it possible that the families eating waffles on the beach are at this moment having more fun than the pious spinsters cleaning their recycling bins? Someone transfer me to a European castle right now!

Mind you, I did eat two pieces of shortbread for morning tea. And I bought a flat white on the way back from the Post Office. That was pretty wild.