I’ve lost count of the number of times people have said things like, “How can someone as intelligent as you belong to such a stupid religion?” Mostly, this is just rude. However, in the case of someone who is openly negotiating cultural and sub-cultural aspects of her faith, and equally opening bemoaning what appears to be a whole lot of wasted time, it is a fair question (though it could be more politely expressed!).

So I thought I’d try to answer it.

Actually, let’s start with a few things that aren’t reasons why I didn’t apostasise:

1) Because Catholicism is cool. Ha! Seriously, those well-meaning sorts who try to brand the faith thusly need to hang out with some non-Catholics for a while, and see what people actually think.
2) Because God always says ‘Yes’ to my requests, and quickly, too. Er, yeah…that would be why I’m blogging about vocationlessness and baby-hunger…
3) Because it’s one, big, happy family. Um…
4) Because I’ve seen the good prosper and the wicked punished. Ha. I wish.
5) Because I love rules. Seriously, between modesty, femininity, sweat-shop labour, China-boycotts, and Sunday trading, it’s amazing that I actually own any clothes at all.        6) Because it’s great for your love-life. Do you realise how many guys I could go out with if they didn’t need to be chaste? Gah! (Mind you, if the internet is to believed, there seems to be a global dating crisis going on that has nothing to do with whether or not one is religious. If you visit the Orthogals’ blog, you’ll find several collections of interesting articles on this theme, crossing all religions and philosophies of life.)

Nope. And this is why religion should never be marketed as something that will guarantee you certain set of experiences or results in life!

Meanwhile, the real reasons why I didn’t apostasise:

1) The Blessed Sacrament.
2) Thomism. It’s like a diamond, turned this way and that, catching and reflecting light with a beauty you’d never thought possible before you saw it. (Conversely, I just don’t find a lot of anti-Catholic or counter-Catholic argument very satisfying. Obviously there are those who do. But I don’t.)
3) Hell. Because, while the fear of it ought not pervade the whole of life, there’s just no point pretending I’ll have anyone to blame but myself if I go there.
4) Saints. I’d like to be one. Seriously, who wouldn’t? Can you seriously tell me you would like not to be a saint? Who doesn’t want to spend her Heaven working miracles for people? (Good luck finding a photograph of me to turn into a holy card, though.)
5) Exorcists. Alas for my inner apostate! I’ve seen what happens when priests open that little book, so I can never pretend that they made everything up.

None of these topics can be sensibly or comfortably discussed at dinner-parties!