Sorry – the poor good bishops whose lives were going to be posted here in order to make us all feel better about bishops will have to wait. I’m post-migraine, but not that much ‘post.’

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Every migraine makes me annoyed with screen vampires (or their novelised equivalents) whose abilities are presented as enviable. Why? Because every migraine convinces me that, if there was such a thing as a vampire, he’d feel like a migraineur – so sensitive to all stimuli that every odour would nauseate him, every sound feel like a blow to the skull… and light? Torture. Intensified sense-reception is not always a gift!

Anyone who disagrees should see the Russian sci-fi/horror flick ‘Nightwatch,’ look out for the vampire tortured by a trail of blood, experience a real migraine, and stop thinking that the living dead are cool.

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Sad things that happen in church; but which is the saddest? 1) The choir sings a new motet. It is wonderful. You rest on that final, perfect, ghostly chord…and, as the notes fade into silence… someone’s mobile phone rings. 2) You’re returning to your pew, notice a newcomer of the opposite sex, feel that you would like said newcomer to notice you, too…and trip over on a piece of loose carpet. 3) The Communion antiphon is ‘Fidelis Servus’ and is accidentally pitched about four notes too high…so that as you approach the notes above the bar lines, the choir realises as one that superhuman effort is necessary…and the result is something like people screaming at a football match.

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So, you’re broke, and your entertainment budget is something like $5 a week. What can you do for fun? If, like me, you weren’t always broke, and were raised with the spending habits of the affluent, the chances are there’s a lot of unused fun sitting in your own home. I’m talking about…the books you bought and never read…the crafty stuff waiting to be actually crafted (whether you’re into knitting, crochet, felting or any other craft or art, you probably have a Stash)…the cookbooks you never actually used…the diary you fell out of the habit of keeping…the stationery waiting to become a handwritten letter to an appreciative friend…exploring your local area on foot…and, I’m not joking here, but…not doing your groceries in the same place every week. I know that sounds so lame, but chores are depressing at times, especially when you’re down about other things, and doing whatever you can to vary them is important. Of course, this really only applies if you have more than one supermarket or market within easy reach, and not in ugly places!

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Her name is not ‘St Mary Mackillop.’ It is ‘St Mary of the Cross.’ I’m just saying.