December 20, 2012 by lucieromarin
Look, we have all of next year to talk about bullying, new patron saints, getting a career together late in life, and healing from the experience of being chewed up and spat out by life – all of which are on the agenda – but right now, we’re days out from Christmas, not far from New Year, and it’s summer (no, really, it’s summer here) which means we need to take a break and think about holiday food.
If the eating of a fruit salad has ever made you feel that your hostess was stingy, uncreative, a health-nut, or covering for an inability to bake, that is only because you were served an inferior dish. Amazing fruit salad is generous, creative, refreshing and hints at superior abilities all round, and this is how it is made:
1) NO BANANA. I will spare you the long version of this speech, and say only, try it. Bananas in fruit salad are like thick socks worn with high heels. Get rid of the banana, and you immediately eliminate the feeling that you think your guests are toothless infants who need to be forced into good health.
2) No rockmelon and no honeydew. These are the misers’ fruits, which is why they are so plentiful in shop-bought fruit salads.
3) Chop a combination of green and red apples. This is your base. (The choice of red is up to you, depending on your preferred sweetness-tartness contrast). Add both red and purple grapes – plenty of. One of each is good, but with a third, very dark grape, it’s even better. Add chopped strawberries – plenty of. Add blueberries, raspberries, and mango. (If you use frozen berries, you can mash them around part-thawed to make a thickish juice, but the sweetness will be a little artificial unless other, fresh juices get involved. If you use punnets, go two punnets of blueberries for each punnet of raspberries). Add kiwi fruit. Kiwi gold is essential, and should be used liberally. Regular green kiwi fruit is for those who need some acidity, and that’s fine; just don’t let it dominate. If you’re feeling bold, add a few lychees; they can be from a tin, but don’t use the tinned juice.
4) JUICE. Lemon and lime juice are essential; they’re preservatives, and mean that your dessert will actually keep for a few days without going brown. Squeeze them over the fruit a couple of times as you make the salad and stir it around. A little fresh-squeezed orange juice is also good. I tend to leave out the orange itself, because stringiness is not conducive to pleasure, but it won’t destroy it if you add some. Another option is to add the scooped-out insides of two or three passionfruit.
Now, if you really love banana and feel you must eat it in some kind of fruit-mixture, this is how to do so: chop it up and mix it with mango and blueberries, add honey, greek yoghurt, a sprinkling of drinking chocolate, and stir the whole lot with enthusiasm. It will be delicious. On the other hand, if you need an acidity-hit and feel you need to be cleansed of all indulgence, try a fruit salad of green apple, green kiwi fruit, and blueberries. But you have to add something sweet to this, otherwise it will turn your face inside out.
**Update** I forgot to mention stone fruits. You need some of those, too – anything not hard and white. Some ripe peaches are a good choice.